My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize