How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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