Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize