this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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