Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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