Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
