Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sorry about my life...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize