? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
