I didn't shave. On purpose
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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