You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize