he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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