oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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