2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
