one two three fourrrrnication!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Your cock deserves a montage
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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