The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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