is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize