I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
