Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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