Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
