I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
