I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
