You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
