piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
