let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
