I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
