my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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