well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
