This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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