Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He shit in the fireplace
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
