girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
