Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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