I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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