his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
