Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
