Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
