I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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