Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
