You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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