NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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