Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
