Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
