We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
