Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize