I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
high people should be assigned attendants
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
