I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
