Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
