Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
