theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
