so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
