Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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