I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize