I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
