when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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