i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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