I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
