I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
