what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize