I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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