Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
