I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
