Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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