so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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