oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
