For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
